In need of a crisis

I have much better sense now of “the main character” – my mom – with the help of the Dramatic Writers Compendium exercises. I feel prepared to do justice to her motivation, and to represent her voice. But what is the crisis in the story I want to tell? What will invest the audience in the drama - and keep them in suspense? After all we do know the ending.

First there is the possibility of assisted suicide. Discussions began years before this story - when mom first confronted Alzheimer’s in her family and began to vocalize her concerns about her own vulnerability. A sister, a cousin, ... as the threat became more tangible her (private) outrage grew ... “Nobody would let a sick animal suffer ...” And then her first real suffering began ... more than a year of painful spinal degeneration for which the conservative medical establishment finally prescribed real drugs. Soon thereafter the osteoporosis burned itself out – the nerves that were being pinched just died”. I remember thinking “miracle. It was during that suffering that mom and I had our most intimate discussions about assisted suicide – would I help her take her life if it came to that...?

Second there a sense that something needs to be started/completed before it is too late ... and then of course quite suddenly it is too late and all the “stakeholders” realize it – I do – the audience does – mom – well probably not or at least not perceptibly because “too late” is when she can no longer reason. Mom, my ex-wife Sandra and I recorded a little family history in the late 80s as part of a therapy session – reminded of this I was inspired to get mom to recount some of her own history. I undertook this only once – and rather late when both words and memories were starting to become elusive. There is a complementary story to be told – from much earlier – about the compilation of family home movies that my sister made which on first viewing had me dreading the moment when my mom disappeared from the action because she had become the cameraperson because my father had died.

Third there is any number of preparations for death that are ... well ... name them and see what they do. One of the most gut wrenching concerned my Uncle Carl. Last fall – six months after my mom's death – Carl suddenly started down the step and slippery slope of Alzheimer’s, after 90 years of smoking and working and intellectualizing and “piss and vinegar” During a particularly dramatic cusp his son my cousin Ron called me up and we chatted and he asked that I pray for Carl’s expeditious departure from the hell that he is in”. Wow. I sought advice on that one – praying for someone’s death – still not sure what to do. I have prayed - God listens without judgement.

There we go ... death can be suspenseful ...